I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel