Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
