oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
