I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
