I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
