If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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