we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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