real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
