My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize