Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
