idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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