Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
