Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
