is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
