OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
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Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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