I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize