Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
