did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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