I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
