My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
babies were throwing up all over the place
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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