Its about making memories worth repressing
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
