saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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