Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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