Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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