Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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