did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize