thus making me awesome and them whores
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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