I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
