I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
