i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
