Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
