i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
