we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Found the puke drawer
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize