And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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