why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
