You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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