I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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