Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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