he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
