yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
