It's just like the Real World with babies
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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