I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
