That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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