i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
ok first of all what the fuck
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
