I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We need to rekindle our bromance
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
