Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
