About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
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And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
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What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
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