who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You're like the curious george of whores
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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