i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize