big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I need to wash the frat house off of me
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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