I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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