she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
