is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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