you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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