Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
