You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
