Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Randomize