what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
