My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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