the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
