i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
