as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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