Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
